I’ve been pretty angsty and upset over little things pretty often these days. Whether it’s written all over my face, I’m not sure; but I try my best to hide it.
I’ve been really short-tempered and I even hate myself for it. I hate how I feel these days, and I try to tell myself to be more appreciative, accepting, patient and just… be happy. But it’s not really working out very well.
Actually, all these began when work-life started.
Things I get so upset about include even the most tiny mundane things. For example,
- Having to wait quite long for the bus to arrive on my way home
- People walking slowly/bumping into me in crowded places
- People who ask/say things that are blatantly obvious (or just warrant a “duh” answer)
And sometimes I think everyone (or at least, most people) in this world is just so stupid.
(This is damn teenage angst-y omg. I have “regressed” in life -.-)
I don’t think I used to be this way (before work-life started). I wasn’t so negative about everyone and everything. Even if I was, things are definitely worse now. Yes, I’m actually aware that I have changed; and I really don’t like who I have become :(
I feel f-ing trapped in my own life these days. I feel like there are so many things going on at the same time. I feel like I wanna do so many things, but there’s so little time, or I just can’t do it for various reasons. I can’t hold my thoughts long enough to focus on one thing at a time; they keep jumping about to everything that is going on now. It’s just all the nitty gritties that are getting to me; the nitty gritties of everything that I need/want to do. My brain feels like it’s in a mess. Damn, my life IS a mess (by my standards).
Just so much frustration all day everyday. I feel like I really need a breather. But even that is an issue cos I feel so f-ing restricted. You’d think at 24, I’d be trusted to make my own decisions; but no, there’s still wayyyy too much interference and I just can’t break out of it. FML seriously.